I have previously referred to the supportive network we have at our disposal in our locality.  We are fortunate to  have Admiral Nurses; a real luxury in any community.  I generally meet with H once a month to discuss issues associated with my role as M’s main carer.  In addition, her availability on the phone, or response to E Mails, is first class.  H introduced me to the work of Teepa Snow and her approach to dealing with dementia is enlightening.

It is rather ironic that periods of depression have also linked me with a further significant others.  Staff at our Medical Centre supported me to ‘think my way out’ of depressive episodes and help me to understand that depression is a condition not an illness.  Patients at our MC are extremely fortunate that we have a therapist on the staff.  His ability to help me see depression for what it is and the triggers in my life has been a refreshing change from the ‘tablets for life’ approach of local psychiatrists.  My contact with P has been ongoing and his experience in the early part of his career when he was a nurse with dementia patients has been invaluable.

H and P both assert the environment is the critical factor with dementia.  The debate about medication’s ability to impact upon the condition is ongoing.  Therefore our ability to impact upon the environment has real significance.

The simple message that P and M both give is to concentrate on minimising distress.

It is quite clear where our focus needs to be this morning.  Maureen’s immediate distress is that she has nothing to wear: despite wardrobes and drawers full of clothes.  I recall the Occupational Therapist form the Stroke Team spending a couple of hours with her on this front months ago; to no avail.  Maureen saw her as the woman who had come to either ‘steal her clothes or persuade her to donate them to charity’.  Consequently, all clothes were put away shortly after her departure.

I am on the case opportunistically this morning.  Following the normal period of upset I have emptied Wardrobe One of all Maureen’s clothing: with her consent.  It has all been removed to a spare bedroom.  I have launched this activity as something we both need to attempt, as I have lots of gear I never wear .  Only time will tell if this early morning enthusiasm to sort things out will be productive.  However as a minimum some things that are ‘not mine’ in Maureen’s view can be disposed of and not cause further upset.