It seems there are choices to be made when you are the Primary Caregiver. Put simply it is a choice of being either man or martyr.  I hope you will all forgive me for this polemic but that is my style.  It would be difficult for me to change habits of a lifetime: my predisposition for being an activist is not going to change and that is the point of this blog.

For most of my adult life I have been involved in activism of some kind.  My activism was born on the shop floor of the car industry where I soon learned you had to look after yourself.  The only way to do this was through the trade union movement, where collective action mitigated against the harsh realities of the piecework system.  The reality being the last man on the line got the hardest  task in trying to earn a decent wage.  No one stuck around very long on an operation that had a bad piecework price.  So if you were that poor guy who didn’t know how to bargain for a fair piecework price  you would have less bread on the table.

Once involved in the trade union movement you were encourage to get involved in the Labour Party.  With ‘Clause Four’ on the back of your Union Membership Card, the path to graduation seemed obvious.  My involvement in activism has accompanied me throughout my transition from a ‘grease monkey’ to the heady heights of working for a Local Authority. Following spells at various Universities to secure my tickets to professional work.

I suppose it is quite difficult to move away from your roots; particularly if you have any concept of class.  Equally, if you have had a professional career in developing activists you are not likely to be able to ‘sit back and listen to the music’: as helpful as YouTube is at this moment in time.  Therefore, being a Primary Caregiver will never be enough for your truly and the solution is quite simple.

There are two causes that immediately spring to mind where I can don the cloth cap of activism.  Firstly, looking after myself: I need to create ‘me time’ where I can fulfill my needs as a person.  Secondly, as many have pointed out, the approach to dementia leaves a lot to be desired and there is campaigning to be done in that arena.  Striking the balance is not easy but hiding under a bush being a martyr, caring for Maureen, will not help either of us.