We were both exhausted when we returned home last night after our day trip to Coventry.  Not at our best our tiredness almost spoiled what had been a very enjoyable day. 

I was amazed how Maureen managed to keep going for the whole of our away day.  For over 12 hours she stayed in Hostess Mode keeping ‘Mrs Dementia’ at bay until she stepped through the front door on our return home.  Then almost as soon as we turned the key that ‘wicked woman’ returned with a vengeance.  After taking refuge in the downstairs toilet for half an hour she reappeared as ‘you know who’ and let loose with all guns blazing.  

At first I struggled to cope with her presentation until I realised she was only expressing a familiar reality.  Once my tiredness, along with frustration, ebbed  I got to grips with her reality of being brought to a strange place against her will. Why should she be happy when she had been taken away from her family and friends?  After all she has no happy memories here only vague recollections of tragic events in her life.

We always try to accentuate the positives and there were many from yesterday with Maureen really enjoying spending quality time with her eldest son.  I’m not sure my mum enjoyed such a positive time with her’s as my visit must have seemed rushed as we tried to beat heavy traffic on our homeward journey.  She is used to seeing me alone and having my wife and daughter in tow may have been confusing.  We responded to her request to ‘take her out’ but it may have been rather late in the day as she fell asleep on the way back to her Care Home.

I need to create some quality time with my mum and daughter as soon as possible.  My change of plan made that impossible yesterday. One thing  for sure is my ‘flexible friend’, Sue the Social Worker, will soon sort out my next day trip so I can compensate for what my mum and daughter missed out on yesterday.  Sue will also applaud that I manged to persuade Maureen to make a day trip to Coventry and spend quality time with her son.

Footnote: ‘Maureen’ is back in residence this morning singing beautifully in bed as she samples her first cup of tea of the day.  I’ve just realised she is singing a track from one of our latest vinyl bargains:

Maureen has just thanked me for doing all the driving yesterday; commenting ‘it was a lovely day’

We had a magical evening last night singing along with Maureen’s Aunty Clarice for a couple of hours.  I knew I had the evening sewn up when I found a Platters LP in a second- hand shop earlier in the day.  The cheeky owner tried to prize a couple of quid out of me for this gem but I held out for half of that.  After an hour of the Platters we moved onto the Sound Of Music and Les Girls were in fine voice: I have posted a couple of last night’s favourites on my Good Music page.

We moved into our lounge for the final part of the evening as I wanted Clarice to see this gem on YouTube from Victoria Wood:

Victoria brought the house down with this exceptional performance.  She was such a talented artist and a sad loss to all fun loving folk.  We are still watching ‘Dinner Ladies’ on most evenings.

The Musical Evening kept Maureen off the sofa and we retired to bed together around 10.30.  Maureen still woke in the night wandering downstairs at 3am and getting lost. When I managed to get her back in bed she asked if it would be ‘ok if she stayed there until her husband came to pick her up’.

Yvonne the Occupational Therapist from the Home Treatment Team is coming at noon to assess Maureen’s road safety awareness.  I  hope she will also consider if there is anything else we can do to keep Maureen safe around the house.  I kept an eye on Maureen making a cup of tea this morning and she seemed to cope without raising any serious concerns.

Les Girls had a lovely evening together and I’ve now been charged with finding a gem by Johnny Ray as they’ve both seen him live.  The warmer weather should bring out the Car Booters so I’ll be off hunting over the next few days.  I have a funny feeling that I can add a bit of dancing to our next shindig.  How great it would be if I can then move us back to dancing with some of our old friends.  I wonder how Brucie is these days.

I listened intently to Maureen last night when she woke up from resting on the sofa. She outlined how everything in our lounge was the same as she had at home but she didn’t live here.  I didn’t challenge her reality just sought occasional clarification on her reality.  The interesting thing is that she recalled this conversation early this morning and attempted to put it into perspective: the mind boggles!

I managed to minimise distress last night and get a reasonable amount of rest.  I went to bed at 10 and left Maureen fast asleep on the sofa.  When I awoke at 1 am she was sleeping soundly.  At 3 am I heard noises on the Baby Alarm and joined her downstairs.  With some gentle encouragement I managed to ease her upstairs into the marital bed and she has slept soundly since.

Sleeping on the sofa in the early evening has now become routine in Maureen’s behaviour.  I’m going to see if another musical evening might just keep her off the sofa this evening.  I have a sneaky feeling that when she is bored the simple option is to lie down on the sofa and ‘rest her eyes’.  The Baby Alarm means that she is relatively safe but what I would give for a night of uninterrupted sleep!