At some stage in their journey with dementia the sufferer is likely to express a wish to want to go home.  Any literature on memory loss is likely to mention the ongoing aspiration of those struggling with dementia to want to return to a familiar place.  I have deliberately chosen ‘familiar place’ as it seems to me from my experience of watching the condition progress here that is one way of looking at the situation.

M often expresses that she wants ‘to go home’ as she doesn’t like it here.  At first I considered her concerns and suggested we explored the options of moving.  It soon became clear that ‘going home’ was an aspiration to get back to a place in time before dementia struck.  So ‘home’ is a place where confusion and fear was not a constant part of daily life.  It seems to me that wanting to ‘go home’ will be a feature of M’s condition for as long as she is able to articulate her jumbled thoughts.

On most evenings M is packing to ‘go home’ as in her muddled thoughts this is not our home.  Indeed, she often says that we are on holiday here and ‘when we get back home’  all sorts of things will be undertaken.

I have just had a bizarre couple of hours: while I was putting away clothing that had been washed; M was packing to go home.  As I emptied the washing basket space was filled with all manner of things for the journey home. There are carrier bags full of our belongings as we don’t want to leave our things behind when we eventually go back home.

I am generally awake and downstairs before M has woken in the morning.  The early hours as the sun is rising are generally spent putting our belongings back in their normal places.  As i go about my early morning duties I have to put music on to help me cope with the thought that i am likely to have to repeat the process the following morning.

Who can blame M from wanting to get away from a condition that is robbing her of basic capacities, rational thought and the ability to think rationally?  If the solution was as simple as ‘going home’ I would personally get the cases out of the loft now and we would be on our way in the morning.  I wouldn’t wait to sell this place we would be off in the morning at first light.