My sleep patterns are never the best and early morning wakening is almost a constant feature of my life.  When my sleep is really poor I can drop off at any moment as tiredness is a constant factor.  Tonight I can’t even get to bed as one ‘o’ clock in the morning stares at me from the clock on the mantel peace.  M has slept on the sofa for much of the afternoon and now wants to spend the night in ‘the place she always sleeps’.

Tonight’s behaviour is a first and I have no idea what has caused such confusion.  My attempts to persuade M to join me in our marital bed have failed and it is unsafe to leave her unattended in her new sleeping quarters.  It is very likely that she would wake up and become very frightened believing I had left her.  Looks like I had better check her out as I hear noises downstairs.  More later ….

She has just woken and M thinks it is morning and asked me if I have had a good night’s sleep..  I need to be with her to try to steer her to bed. Even more later perhaps under a further post.

I carry on this post for good reason.

M decided to go back to be to ‘try to get more sleep’.   I found the bedroom door closed and gently got into bed.  M let out the loudest scream I have ever heard and said she didn’t know who was getting into bed with her.  Those who know her well understand where this fear of men has come from: it is not from me.

I am advised that therapy is out of the question as dementia would make such work impossible.  I think it will be difficult for me to sleep now as I am still upset from this incident.  It brings sharply into focus a warning from the Clinical Psychologist from the Stroke Team: to be very careful in case she mistakes me for someone else.  M is paying the price for pretending that bad things did not happen in her life and failing to deal with them.  This fear of men will haunt her for the rest of her life and it is hardly surprising: it is quite understandable if you know what happened to her in a previous relationship..