I had to ride out a long storm last night.  M had been sleeping on the sofa for a few hours when I woke her to see if she needed anything.  She declined offers of food, medication and drink.  She also refuted that it was time to go to bed as she had been asleep for ages and it must be morning rather than 10 ‘o’ clock at night.  I wasn’t too surprised by her response but really  taken aback by what followed for the next couple of hours.

Hostility raged on a number of fronts.  M was very confused and kept seeking information on where the other people in the house had gone.  She greeted any explanation I gave with contempt and frequent unpleasantness.  I attempted to ride out the storm with empathy and compassionate communication.  Where people slept became an issue for quite some time.  M once again did not ‘want a man in her bed.  Anyone who knows her history will fully understand such apprehension.

The storm raged for quite some time and I eventually realised I would just have to ride it out.  None of my normal tactics were having any impact whatsoever.  Lionel Ritchie eventually came to my rescue as I resumed watching a recent performance of his on YouTube Maureen took to the sofa.  Whilst lying down she complained that everything smelled of perfume and was making her feel ill.  After a while with her cardigan hoisted over her nose she drifted into sleep. Lionel became very noisy as he got into his set and pulled the audience along.  As the volume increased and the old numbers came along I decided to pause the show. I faked boredom and suggested it was time to retire.

Maureen took a little persuasion to climb the ‘wooden hill’ and engage in her normal bedroom rituals.  I got into bed promptly and watched while the searches and accusations went on.  Someone had moved or stolen her things yet again.  I was very relieved when she eventually settled in bed and we could exchange our final words of the day: ‘night night sleep tight….’

I am pretty sure that exhaustion had brought on the storm cloud last night.  M had been up early and on the go until 5 pm yesterday.  She had performed well in ‘hostess mode’ for her brother and his wife.  This had been very different from her recent regime of frequent periods of rests throughout the day.  Stroke robs sufferer of energy on a random basis: dementia has the potential to do the same on a regular basis.  It simply takes so much energy to process information and then act upon it.

Further storms might be avoided if visits are of a much shorter duration in the future.  That is difficult when most visitors have to travel such distances before they can be with us here in Cleethorpes.  However, if we are to continue to seek to minimise distress then it is an issue that just has to be tackled.