Dementia: Imagine

Mixed Dementia

Imagine:

  • On Wednesday your Key Worker takes you out for coffee and cake.
  • He leaves you to a strange place where there are lots of other people.
  • At night you sleep on a couch in a large room.
  • In the morning you are surrounded by people you don’t know.
  • On Thursday night you again sleep on a couch.
  • On Friday morning your husband – pops in to see you.
  • He rescues you on Friday evening from a noisy incident in a social area.
  • You wake up alone on a bed around midnight.
  • You make your way to the lounge to sleep on a couch.
  • Your husband returns in the morning for a short visit.
  • Two unknown women arrive and take you to a strange place.
  • You are surrounded by strangers and have no idea where you are.
  • Your husband arrives the next day and can’t explain what is going on.
  • You think you are on a Cruise Ship.
  • He returns in the evening with some sandwiches.
  • On Monday morning a Doctor wants to chat with you but you refuse to talk to him
  • Your husband arrives shortly before noon.
  • You think you are in a Market and have bought some vegetables.
  •  You have lunch with your husband in a small lounge.
  • You ask him to take you home but he is unable to help you.
  • A short while later your husband has gone and you don’t know why.

The above events can only have increased Maureen’s level of confusion.  I would contend that any attempt to assess her within Konar’s 72-hour target would be short-sighted!

Dementia: Battling Giants

Mixed Dementia, ,

Image result for David and Goliath picture

I got a distinct feeling that I was ‘Battling Giants’ yesterday – a position that Gladwell explores in his book ‘David & Goliath -Underdogs, Misfits and the Art of Battling Giants’.   In my early dealings with staff at the Konar Suite, I was in despair with haunting memories of a professional belief in ‘chemical imbalance’ from my time as a patient at Harrison House.  Fortunately, late on a Sunday evening the Head of the Unit appeared and eased my troubled mind.

My memories had been sparked by a meeting with two Nurses from the Konar, with one taking notes on a Lap Top.  When I heard that Maureen would be seen by a Consultant in the morning and he might prescribe medication then my concerns intensified.  I wondered how on earth anyone could assess Maureen’s needs when she had been in Konar for such a short period of time?

It wasn’t just the informal gear the Head of Unit was wearing that impressed me; it was her compassion and sincerity.  Along with: ‘if you have any concerns at any time then ask my staff to contact me’.  She assured me that ‘Konar was not in the business of medicating anyone for the sake of it and the priority was to assess Maureen’s needs’.

David knows that Goliath can always use the Mental Capacity Act to assert what is in Maureen’s Best Interest.  However, he is reassured by extracts from Konar’s Misson Statement:

‘What Services do we offer:

Konar provides an evidence-based, high quality, individualised service …….

Our Aim is:

  • To provide person-centered care, addressing the whole persons needs including body, mind, emotion, and spirit.
  • To work with carers where appropriate ensuring they are included in all aspects of care, future needs, and treatment.’

I’m reassured that Maureen is in good hands at Konar: my initial panic has ebbed. As David, I have a Mission Statement and a friend indeed whenever I have concerns!

 

 

 

Dementia: Real Suffering Verses Compassion

Mixed Dementia,

Today’s Buddhist teaching has great relevance to my thoughts this morning:

When I popped into Alderlea to warm Maureen’s toes yesterday she was sitting at a table, with a fellow resident, having breakfast.  I watched her for a while and chatted to a Senior Carer who remembered me as Phil Collins the guy who had checked out the Care Home of her previous employer.  I could see that Maureen’s hair was glistening and guessed correctly that she had been in the shower.  The Senior told me how Maureen had returned from personal care holding the hand of the carer.

When Maureen saw me she smiled and said ‘here’s Paul and is Barrie there’.  It didn’t take me long to figure out that she was expecting us to catch a bus so that she could go home to Nottingham to be with her her birth family.  I was relieved that she had no idea of what lay ahead: admission to another strange place -the  Konar Suite.

I used the thermal socks that I had bought as a distraction and left her newly found carer friend to check that they were the right size as I headed for the exit.  As I drove home I reflected how within the space of three nights my wife had become a dependent child – a shadow of the woman I know!

I was very reassured when I heard the news that Maureen’s transfer to Konar had gone well.  How kind of The Head of the Home Treatment Team to let me know that Maureen had been moved by people who knew her.  Similar kindness was shown by a Nurse from Konar who phoned to tell me that Maureen had settled down to being on the Ward.

I am meeting a member of staff from Konar this morning to help them develop a Care Plan for Maureen.  Although I’m inclined to accept their advice about when to visit my wife.  However, I’m concerned that delaying things could leave her feeling abandoned in a strange and frightening environment: that’s compassion rather than suffering!

Dementia: Comin’ In and Out of Your Life

Uncategorized

The number of the week has always been one of our special songs:

 

With Maureen in a Care Home and about to be moved to an Acute Mental Health Unit (Konar Suite) in a couple of hours Barbara Streisand nails my feelings this morning.

When I visited Maureen last night I got a glimpse of life in her Care Home.  One of the carers was trying to deal with an aggressive resident who was lashing out verbally and physically.  Maureen was cowering within the relative safety of a friendlier crowd.  Her fear was palpable with concerns that nobody liked her and she was at risk of assault.  It took me quite some time to entice her to the safety of her room and nurse her to sleep.

This morning two Support Workers from The Home Treatment team will move her into the unknown – the Konar Suite.  I have been advised to leave it to them and visit in the afternoon after Maureen has been admitted.

The new from Alderlea this morning is that Maureen has had a restful night.  She stayed in her room until midnight then moved onto a sofa in one of the lounges.  I’m going to pop down with a new pair of thermal socks shortly – can’t have my dear wife having cold feet as she is transported to Konar!

 

 

Dementia: The Tipping Point

Mixed Dementia, Uncategorized, ,

I’m sure some readers of this Blog wonder what led me to change my mind about Care Homes and the Konar Suite?  Why had someone who hardly has a good word to say about Care Homes and was unconvinced about the Konar Suite changed his mind?

When I look back there were three main reasons.  Firstly, professional staff who I have a great deal of respect for continued to ask me to review my thinking.  Secondly,  when Maureen told me ‘she didn’t know where or who she was and had no idea what was going on’.  Thirdly, when she handed me this crumpled photograph and told me it was a bill:

As you can see I’ve straightened it out now: hence the distortions.  I wasn’t upset that it was one of our wedding photos.  What concerned me was that I had stood it on our mantelpiece on our Wedding Anniversary to try to remind Maureen that we were married.  I had played Wedding Day by the BeeGees every morning and told her how proud I was that she was my wife.  I had told her how much I loved her as the Brothers Gibb had sung this beautiful song.  I had put my hand next to hers as the music played so our wedding rings were touching.  Although she may have grasped what I was talking about at that time, this photograph became a bill: that was the Tipping Point

The news from AlderleaCare Home is that Maureen thinks she is in ‘Marks and Sparks’ trying to find the train station.  She is sleeping on a sofa just like she does at home and was still in the land of nod when I checked up on her early this morning.  I’m off to the Leisure Centre again shortly; to swim and then revitalise in the Health Suite.

Dementia: Taking A Break

Mixed Dementia,

Image result for Taking A Break Picture

When you  are exhausted and your wife says to you:

‘I don’t know who I am.

I don’t know where I am

and I don’t know what is going on.’

It’s time to take a break to give yourself time to think.

This is why Maureen is now in Alderlea Care Home for the next week.

 

Dementia: Our Pocket Rocket

Mixed Dementia, ,

Image result for Little Miss Pocket Rocket pictureShe won’t be with us today our Pocket Rocket.  I was tempted to call her Little Miss Dynamite until  I heard what a Senior from her Care Agency called her.  She will be back tomorrow and Friday so she will then have been with us for four days this week.

Our PR generally has Maureen in the palm of her hand but yesterday she was sent to Coventry during the early part of her shift.  Maureen ignored her greeting when she walked in the door and appeared to be sulking during the early part of her shift.  When I returned home after my shopping mission all was fine and dandy; with the girls busy as music played in the background.  With five minutes of her shift remaining the PR enticed Maureen upstairs to make sure she was well clad for the rest of the day.  How on earth she managed to get Maureen into sensible gear in that time I will never know – it can take me half an hour!

I haven’t a nickname for today’s Girl Wednesday. She used to be a regular until she changed her shift pattern.   She is another excellent carer who always encouraged me not to pander to Maureen.  I always welcomed such gentle guidance from an old hand.  It will be interesting to hear what she makes of Maureen’s presentation today as she hasn’t seen her for a couple of months.

I clearly need to eat my word this morning after another challenging night.  It was after midnight before Maureen dropped off.   It looks as though she is getting used to Lorazepam – half a tablet no longer has the impact it previously had.  I will get our GP’s advice on upping the dose.  I will also contact our Key Worker to request a couple of Night Sits to see if that can help us through this challenging period.

My Admiral Nurse is expecting my phone call today and this will give me an opportunity to discuss the prospect of Maureen going into the Konar Suite – there are no beds available at the moment.  I’m fully aware that Maureen might need ongoing medication and that could be the outcome of a stay on the KS.  Despite my reservations about medication being the answer, I’m impressed by NAViGO’s attempts to help patients understand bthe:

Image result for konar suite grimsby picture

Dementia: Wonder Woman Is Back!

Mixed Dementia,

Image result for Wonder woman pictureMost people who came across Maureen yesterday would not have believed she has a diagnosis of severe dementia.  He exploits even amazed me:

  • She booked her own appointment at the Reception Desk of our dentist.
  • She accompanied me and Girl Monday around several shops in Cleethorpes.
  • She held her own in an interview with a representative from our Care Agency
  • She entertained our Key Worker.
  • She saw off a District Nurse who was enquiring if she needed a flu jab.

This morning she has had a shower and washed her own hair.

I had a funny feeling that once the builders had finished their work that Wonder Woman would be back.  That doesn’t mean that there won’t be days when things are difficult but we all have bad days!

 

Dementia: Positive News

Mixed Dementia,

Some positive news from last week:

  • My reviewer tells me that Dale’s book: ‘The End of Alzheimer’s’ is worth reading.
  • I am allowed to swim breaststroke.
  • Riding my bike is good for my legs.
  • We have taken several siestas and slept well over the weekend.
  • The clearing up exercise after our extension has moved a stage further.
  • My Admiral Nurse returns to work today after a week’s leave.

Sometimes you just need a break and two came my way on Friday.  Firstly, my physiotherapist enlightened me about the benefits of swimming breaststroke, the only stroke I can do, and riding my bike.  I had been under the misapprehension that both were not advisable following hip replacement.  Secondly, my neighbour who is a scientist agreed to review Dale Bresden’s book.  When I spoke to her yesterday she suggested that it might not be too late for Maureen to benefit from his thinking.  I’m sure all of this news is helping me to sleep a little easier in bed at night, as is the thought that my Admiral Nurse will be available this week so that I can chat with her about my reservations about Maureen going into the Konar Suite.

From today I have decided to set some targets at the start of each week:

Personal targets:

  1. To swim breaststroke at the Leisure Centre on two occasions.
  2. To resume attending Buddhist Meditation Classes on Wednesday evenings.
  3. To progress fitting vinyl flooring in our Sun Room.
  4. To read further chapters from: ‘You Are The Placebo’.

Carers targets:

  1. To continue involving Maureen in personal care.
  2. To take Maureen out for a walk twice this week.
  3. To take Maureen clothes shopping.
  4. To involve Maureen in further household tasks.

I will review progress next week so in future, Positive News will be the focus on Monday’s – a  Jungle Book approach to life:

 

Dementia: Meditation And Mindfulness

Mixed Dementia

Today’s lesson from Kelsang Dekyong:

We didn’t make it for a swim yesterday as Maureen rested for large parts of the day.  She seems exhausted at the moment and has slept well through the night.  If this warm spell continues a walk on the beach beckons after breakfast this morning.

Maureen is very sad today.  When I asked her what was wrong she says she ‘wants to go home to be with her family’.  Then she says ‘they would probably be too busy to talk to me’.  My guitar playing brother in law always points out that how busy people are is a matter of choice.  I wonder if he’s got this one in his repertoire: