I realise I haven’t been looking forward to Christmas this year.

I’ve been miserable.

Humbug, writ large.

Cards have been arriving in the post, people I work with giving them…

A little party at one trust, carols, thanks, all that…

I ducked the second, Christmassy, half of that one.

And now I know why.

It’s time to be happy, to meet people at parties, over dinner, in the street, and be happy.

And talkative.

To tell people what you’ve been up to, how the family are, ask about theirs…

And that means remembering…names, facts, events…which takes time.

Then the words to explain those events and feelings…

It takes effort.

Moray Firth Ross and Cromarty Scotland

On Saturday night this crystallised.

I can’t keep up any more. Not at all. I can’t get into conversations.

By the time I’ve thought of a word or idea they’ve all cut in, and my…