Since we moved to be beside the sea side we have watched a horror show unfurl before our eyes. At first it just seemed that aging was taking place as D began to fade as the strong outspoken Yorkshireman we had always seen on our visits. After all he was approaching 80 and at first it just seemed he was getting old. Fifteen years later he is in a nursing home and we have watched something approaching a horror show unfurl before our very eyes.
Watching things first hand has helped me to learn a little more about dementia. I can’t remember when Alzheimer’s was first flagged up as the cause of D’s decline. It matters not: the point I am making is we have seen episodes of the horror show whenever we popped round to see M’s Aunty and Uncle. When I wrote my previous post on the Girl Guides I forgot to mention Chief Guide C; she has taught me so much about how to approach someone who is trying to cope with dementia. Throughout her long struggle her patience and unconditional love for D has shone through like a beacon until her batteries went flat. She arrived at a point when she couldn’t cope any longer and had to put D in a Nursing Home.
C could be renamed as ‘Aunty Nellie’ the experienced hand showing an apprentice how to go on. To a large extent this craftswoman has helped me to learn the tools of the trade. Watching her her ply her trade has given me a basic understanding of how to go on. It also gave us both anopportunity to dip our toes into the water with dementia not anticipating that swimming would soon be on our own doorstep.
In recent years we have popped round to visit C about once a week and seen the condition in full swing. Sometimes we have acted as ‘Rescue Rangers’ and taken D out to try and shift his mind from ‘wanting to go home’ At others we have had tea and cake and beat a hasty retreat wondering how on earth C coped with the relentless challenges on her own. I could go on but my appreciation for C’s openness about her struggle is immense. In a sentence her advice would be: ‘take each day as it comes and don’t try to analyse things’. it has breaks her heart to know what lies ahead for her favourite niece.
Waxing lyrical about the Girl Guides I almost forgot a new member of the troupe. In the last couple of weeks K next door has mentored me through many a difficult moment. She has drawn on her experience of caring for her mother to try to help me make sense of things. At moments of great tension she has reassured me that I have ‘got it right’. Having someone so close at hand with experience of dementia is invaluable.
I am wondering if tiredness led me to overlook two important members of the Guide pack. I’d better be careful who I admit my faltering memory to because you never know who is reading your Blog! I wonder if David Cameron is still the Prime Minister?
