Yesterday was a good day with lots of positive developments.  When I look back it is a day to count my blessings for the great support we receive from so many quarters.

Early in the morning I discovered something of great interest in my birthplace and promptly booked my place.  It will good to be back in Coventry at the Organic Garden Centre to see how the outside world can be used to have a positive impact on dementia.  We have a lovely garden and are surrounded by lots of lots of places where we can walk.  Now I have an opportunity to learn how we can build cognitive stimulation into taking  fresh air. .

I caught Mel my Admiral Nurse shortly after she clocked in.  We chatted for some time about the need for Maureen’s referral to the Memory Service to be steered to the Home Treatment Team.   we also talked of the progressive nature of Maureen’s condition and the need for me to find additional opportunities for regeneration.

Maureen’s son arrived in time for me to have a further consultation with my physio about the tear in my rotator cuff.  Oliver gave me further coaching on my exercise regime and I feel confident I can avoid the surgeon’s scalpel.

I knew that Maureen would need to rest following her sons visit after a busy couple of hours catching up.  This gave me 8 hours of welcome time-out to do my own thing around the house and catch up with relatives on the phone.

I popped next door to have a chat with Mike and Kate about how things were going.  It’s amazing how time flies with dementia in your lives I hadn’t realised that Kate had not been updated on how things were going since Sunday.  Mike is always in the garage on his exercise bike in the morning and we usually have a word or two.

I managed a good chat with my sister before I called on two experienced hands in the field of dementia.  Maureen’s aunty Clarice and my sister in law Jean are always willing to share their experiences and help mentor our journey.  Then I watched Steven Segal sort out the bad guys and either dropped off or got taken up in Maureen surfacing at 11pm to miss his final move in sorting out a drugs cartel

I seem to have got better at encouraging her to go back to bed when she thinks it’s morning and eventually tucked her up around midnight.  This followed a period of easing her through her confusion of not knowing where she was or who lived here: something that is always rampant when her sons visit.

It’s a lovely bright morning in Cleethorpes.  The sky is blue and the sun is shining :  it’s going to be really ‘Good Friday’ with the Sky Blues on T V this evening.

To finish this post there is a little Easter present for my cyber friend Kate Swaffer:

Yesterday was something of watershed in our journey with dementia.  Spring was clearly in the air as we began to tread a fresh path on our journey.

The first step was taken when I discussed changes in Maureen presentation with our G P.  I was relieved to know that Maureen’s referral back to the Memory Service is underway.  We have arranged to get together with Mel my Admiral Nurse a week on Friday to make sure that the referral has found its way to the Home Treatment Team.

During the morning and the afternoon I encouraged Maureen to help me around the house. I cajoled her into joining me in the kitchen or the garden rather than lying on the sofa ‘resting her eyes’.  I picked my moments to try to make sure I wasn’t seen as the bad guy and gradually she warmed to activity rather than staying on the sofa.

Late afternoon Maureen’s elder son phoned;  he is planning to visit in a couple of weeks.  I managed to have a chat with him to confirm that Dr Munjal feels that changes in Maureen’s presentation are atypical of her condition, and a brain scan is not necessary at the moment.  Shortly afterwards we managed to get through to the ‘birthday girl’ and Maureen sang to her 17 year old granddaughter.

I listened to the delight in her voice as Maureen spoke to the ‘birthday girl’.  The joy on her face brought a smile to mine: was she really taking to the girl who ‘didn’t deserve a card because she never calls or visits’.  It’s fortunate that Maeve is old for her years and would have taken in her stride Maureen’s request to ‘say hello to her mum and dad’.  After all she noticed Maureen’s dementia long before others in the family, so she has got used to her Nana not remembering that her mother has passed away.

We have also made a seasonal change with our viewing on YouTube.  Yesterday we caught up with more of the antics of ‘Terry and June’, with a marathon session after our evening meal.  We had watched several episodes when I suggested it was time for bed.  Maureen said she was ‘still waiting for Paul to come home’.  I was taken aback by her comment as I thought we had been sitting on the sofa together as husband and wife.  Then I had a huge slice of luck or a piece of sound judgement.

As I sat in my office catching up with responses to my Blog Maureen opened and closed the front door.  I gathered that she was looking for me so I bade my time as the search continued.  Then I had a brainwave: I went down stairs and said ‘here I am I’ve been on the computer again’.  Maureen greeted me with some relief: her husband was home again.

We had a relatively restful night sharing the same bed.  Maureen woke on a couple of occasions upset with her thoughts ‘that they were keeping us here against our will’.  Being close by I was able to nurse her back to sleep.  I have learned to be very tentative with any form of physical contact for fear that she doesn’t know who I am, and it will spook her.

Maureen’s younger son will be here in time for me to see the physio this morning.  We have decided to leave his visit as a lovely surprise for his mother: she will be so pleased to see him.

 I have no idea how today will pan but there’s a spring in my step this morning: it’s been a long hard winter.

Yesterday I tasted it again, the sweet taste of honey: life that is lost with dementia the elephant in the room.  I got my first sample shortly after breakfast when Kevin popped in to catch up with us.  We were both careful and managed to create opportunities for wide ranging conversation.  I’m sure that we took things too far some of the time with Maureen wondering ‘what on earth are they on about now?’.  When Kevin had gone Maureen covered her inability to follow our drift by saying it was the ‘Geordie Boy’s’ accent that threw her.

Around 4 pm Maureen announced that she wanted to get her hair done.  I seized the moment, ushered her down to Mark’s and within half an hour she was in his capable hands.  I returned to collect her on time and the dishevelled ‘old lady’ was no more: now  looking a ‘Million Dollars’ she worried all the way home about the cost of covering up the grey and a restyle.

While Maureen was getting spruced up I wandered around Cleethorpes, at will, for an hour.  The tide was in so I collected the evidence and sent a photo to those who have always needed binoculars to see where the Humber has gone on their visits.  I also popped in to see ‘Nigel the Clock Man’ for a ‘State of the Nation Conversation’.  I always feel comfortable when I’m back in the company of Engineers: we have a common view of the world.

It felt good to have a ‘taste of honey’ yesterday.  The day started well with Kevin’s arrival: we moved from football to politics with the ease.   Mark played a blinder by responding to Maureen’s request for an immediate solution to her need for colour and a trim.  Nigel laid down his tools, welcoming a chat with a like-minded thinker.

All three of ‘the bees’ have two things in common:  they understand dementia from personal involvement and are prepared to support us whenever they can.

Maureen has been off on walkabouts again today.  This time she told me she was just going for a walk around the block.  She returned almost an hour later escorted by a lady who had helped her to find her way back home.  By lip reading I confirmed this kind woman had realised Maureen had dementia and thought it necessary to see her safely to our front door.  Maureen thought she was a policewoman ‘one of the constabulary who are keeping her under surveillance’.  As Maureen said ‘it must be better than dealing with criminals all the time’.

Almost as soon as Maureen was off on her travel this morning a neighbour knocked on the door to tell me she was on out.  We are fortunate that so many people around here help me to keep a check on her whereabouts.  It must be difficult for them to understand why I let her wander: the answer is quite simple she says she often feels like a prisoner so my inclination is to set her free whenever it seems appropriate.  Locking her in and treating her like a child would be a regressive step IMHO.