It’s 4.30 in the morning and I would defy anyone to sleep after the conversation I have just had with my wife. Wait a minute I need to correct that to: after listening to Maureen for the last half an hour or so. To put things into context we are in Nottingham staying with her brother and his wife. It is one of those occasions when as soon athe clock struck nine I would be ringing Heather my Admiral Nurse to get her take on things. Unfortunately,Heather has left, and Mel her replacement doesn’t start until Monday. So my contingency plan is to talk to Evonna as soon as we are back on home turf. If it’s her day off from pharmacy duties at Lloyds, then I will just have to ruminate on matters a while longer.

I will deal with how we made it to Nottingham later in the day, after spilling out the detail of Maureen’s reality. After lying in bed listening I now have a grasp of Maureen’s world: a fascinating insight into her thoughts. It goes something like this:

Maureen lives in a Care Home in Cleethorpes. She suspects they will keep her there until the money runs out. There is this carer called Paul who is really helpful to her. It was embarrassing at first as he sorted out her washing, and solved the shortage of underwear. She thinks he may be gay but he is very helpful.

Some lady carers come in to look after her. They are very kind, and sometimes give her a shower. She isn’t really keen on this type of personal care but she is getting used to it. She feels sorry for them as some of their male clients are cheeky. Some of them follow in their mum’s footsteps to go into caring work.

She feels she can now look after herself. As she has been discharged from hospital she hopes to be able to go home soon. She is often really fed up and has little in common with the rest of the residents in the Care Home. She often stays in bed as there is no-one she wants to talk to and has nothing to do most of the time.

I am sure I have missed out bits of Maureen’s monologue. This is a very different presentation from the listener that Maureen is. It is a fascinating insight into Maureen’s reality. It has reassured me that she feels I (Paul) am doing my best to look after her.

How selfish of Heather to be on the point of emigrating.  Hey girl if you are reading this; one final musical number for you, Dolly of course: Just When I Needed You Most .

Evonna I hope you are there on Friday when we return to the ‘Care Home’. If not I know that Mel will be itching to ‘get out the blocks’ on Monday; so may as well help her to get into the old routine.

How lucky I am to have mentors so readily available. Some people laughed when we said we were moving to Cleethorpes!