Yesterday illustrated how thing can change so quickly with dementia.  The day and early evening went extremely well.  We did lots of things together: laughing our way through the day; joking about all sorts of things.  Late afternoon we popped round to see Maureen’s aunty, to get the latest on her uncle, but she was out.  No matter we called into the chemist across the road and Maureen’s blood pressure was spot on.

I tried and failed to get Maureen to rest during the day.  She had one or two attempts to have a nap  but couldn’t seem to drop off.  At around 8.30 she finally curled up on the sofa and slept solidly until I awoke her to go to bed, a couple of hours later.  I immediately knew I was in trouble.

It took me a while to persuade her that she had a bed upstairs and this is where we lived.  She left me in no doubt that she didn’t want me in the same room as her, so I retired to the spare bedroom.  A few hours later the coast was clear and I joined her in the marital bed.  This type of performance is not unusual: i am getting used to the routine by now.

My sentiments of TGIF are not because the week end is extended by a day with Bank Holiday Monday.  There are no holidays for care partners.  In fact getting respite round here is no picnic:  I will return to that in a later post.  No the reason I am pleased it is Friday is because our ‘adopted daughter ‘ will be here in a few hours.

Chloe is the one person, apart from myself, who has any understanding of Maureen’s current presentation.  She is not one of those ‘merchants’ who pops in and sees Maureen in the ‘hostess mode’.  She has seen the abject confusion and heard the repeated questions that are around on most days.  Her involvement has been ‘hands on’ rather than academic.  Chloe is the only person I can run things by and be confident of her point of view.

There are a couple of things I need to chat over with Chloe.  I need to try to make progress on the clothing crises and visit family.  Chatting things over with Chloe is as good as it gets.  She is not ticking boxes or seeking an expedient solution to difficult situations.   Chloe has our interest at heart.

Just one other point: Chloe understands dementia her expertise is based on getting her ‘hands dirty’ for years.  She also knows not only how to spell empathy; she exudes it.  If only those who earn far more than Chloe would take the time to learn from  the likes of her, and care partners, life would be so much easier for Maureen and I.