There is a steep learning curve when you are caring for someone with dementia.  Pretty quickly you develop some ‘Golden Rules’ that you try to keep to.  When you get things wrong you see your mistakes before your eyes and can pay for them dearly.  It is one of those situations where Fail to Prepare: Prepare to Fail, hits you straight between the eyes.  If you are really unlucky you might even get a real slap on the face – as I have done on a couple of occasions.

Yesterday I maybe just got lucky on a couple of occasions.  We coped well without a carer and I managed to track M down fairly quickly when she had gone off for a walk.  At bed time  I averted the hunt for P J’s and tooth brushes by making sure they were on hand.  Such things are easy to do and simply have to become part of my routine.  It is helping others to be supportive where the real dilemmas present themselves.  How do you give visitors ‘the nod’ without causing offence or appearing to be an expert?

I hope she doesn’t mind me doing it but I will use a close family member as my example.  B is hoping to visit along with her son on Saturday.  I don’t think she has seen M since stroke and will not be familiar with her presentation.  She already has something of an advantage over some of our visitors: she is familiar with dementia.  Along with my other sister she is a regular visitor to mum who has vascular dementia.  She has also seen my brother’s Alzheimer’s progress at an alarming rate.  However, I am wondering if there is anything else I can do to make sure her visit is supportive to my wife?

In some ways we are already off to a good start as B has said lets see how M is nearer the day.  I am hoping that she has the time to read my Blog occasionally just to see how things are going.  Also I feel our relationship is such that we might even chat things over before her trip up here.  So a little preparation might just help…….  Now I wonder what to give them for lunch?