I arrive at my mum’s care home as they open for visitors at 11 am.  She is sitting near to the foyer so I wave and there is no response.  Does she sill remember me I wonder?  As I get closer there are signs of recognition.  Then she says the magic words:’ have you come to take me out?  Even then I am not sure if she is just looking for a ride in the country and any taxi driver will do.

I try my normal ice breaker and tell her she is looking good.  She is well turned out this morning in a matching skirt, blouse and cardigan.  Carers are promptly dispatched to  find her outdoor clothing and we are soon on our way.  Mum has been puzzled by my chatting up a bright young thing who is a new member of staff.  She didn’t spot me checking out how she was with other members of staff.  Rule One here: check out how things have been going and react accordingly.

We settle for a short trip out to a local park.  Mum is very quiet en route and I bite my tongue and listen.  She comments periodically on the number of cars on the road and the weather.  Out of the blue she asks me if I have a dog?  I have no idea what is going on here.  It is possible she is confusing me with my dog owning sister.

Once at the park we go into our normal routine.  Mum loves ice cream and we share a 99: two cornets I hasten to add.  Refreshments  keep things even quieter, apart from mum enquiring about her hand bag.  Things seem much the same as my last visit: cars, missing handbag and very quiet.  Then she asks me out of the blue: ‘have you got a wife?’

I could provide far more detail on trivialities but  from my glimpse of things little has changed.   However, I have not looked behind the scenes or chatted to her carers about how mum is going.  She has probably been in hostess mode for the last hour to show me she is alright.  Why does any mother want to worry her son about anything.  Her role in life has been to look after him and that is not going to change now!