It’s always a risk in this game but I am optimistic that things are beginning to settle down here a little.  The changes that we have made to M’s environment are beginning to pay off.  I think she has gathered that I have taken seriously her question what about us?  Let me explain…….

M has consistently argued that leaving her with a stranger while I go out and have fun is not what marriage is about.  I agree, and confess, that I have got it wrong.  Seeing a carer sit as an opportunity to do my own thing has been unhelpful.  The answer is to change the environment: not run away from it.  If I need a break from caring I can take one every time M rests her eyes.  I will no longer leave her with ‘babysitters’ while I go out and enjoy myself.

To start the ball rolling in this direction we will cancel yet another sit tomorrow.  Why would we want a stranger in our house to interfere with our domestic bliss?   M has often says she if she is training people to do things she is able to do herself.  She has a point.  My approach has been both annoying to her and disabling .  Why does she need someone to follow her around the garden as she hangs out the washing?  She has had a stoke: brain damage is the cause of her poor memory not mental illness.

It is very likely that we will also cancel Wednesday sit and not have carer in the house until C’s grand return from honeymoon on Friday.  I think we will give her a Welcome Home Party.  We want to leave her in no doubt that she has been missed: Maureen has asked if she is coming almost every day over the last couple of weeks.

M and I will have a chat over the next few days about what help we need in the house.  If only we could get M back on a Wednesday then my M could look forward to her weekly hairdressing appointment.  How lovely it will be when we get all this back on an even keel: a fresh start that helps us to resume our life as a closely married couple.  When M asks if she is ill I remind her that she is recovering from stroke and sometimes her memory is not as good as it might be.  Now what did I promise her we were having for tea?