Maureen let me have it in no uncertain manner last night.  She was concerned that the house stunk, was a mess and men had unlimited access to her sleeping quarters.  It was one of those occasions when I left her to rant and made my way upstairs to bed.  A few hours later she woke crying out for help as her mouth felt so dry.

Helping someone to resolve a dry mouth is relatively easy.  The normal remedies of a drink and a lozenge soon eased things.  However, this episode is a warning for me to support Maureen with oral hygiene as she often forgets to clean her teeth.  I’m also tempted to spill cold water down her this morning to see if this will encourage her to have a shower, wash her hair and change her clothing.  Girl Saturday did her best to spruce Maureen up yesterday but heard that ‘she was waiting for the weekend when we would be visiting her mum’.

I’m struggling to comprehend Maureen’s reality this morning as one of her opening questions was about ‘when I thought the war would end’.  She then sat for ages trying to remember her parent’s birthdays before barricading herself in the bedroom because she thought I had a dog in the house!

Personal care has become a significant issue for Maureen in the last few weeks. She has been wearing the same pair of pyjamas since I collected her from Alderlea Care Home ten days ago.  She has also refused to shower or wash her hair.  It would be interesting to know if the pharmaceutical industry has a name for this aspect of her presentation and a pill for it.

Maureen has mixed dementia, predominantly vascular, and there is no medication for her condition.  That doesn’t mean that she hasn’t been offered pills.  A couple of years ago antidepressants were offered and declined.  More recently ’emotional incontinence’ was flagged up as a possibility when her Care Coordinator heard her in floods of tears.  Thankfully, treatment in the form of pills, although available was never offered.

I think it would be unfortunate if Maureen remained in her PJ’s this morning as she would want to look her best when her favourite granddaughter arrives in a few hours. With no pills at my disposal and Maureen’s Hairdresser (as she calls Girl Tuesday) on holiday, it’s down to your truly to sort this one out.

My early morning plan has gone out the window as I failed to entice Maureen into the marital bed: a shower can sometimes follow if the going is good.  Plan B which involved spilling a glass of cold water over her would not be helpful as she has been crying because she has ‘nothing to wear and people are laughing at her’.  She thinks ‘going home to her mum’ would solve everything: I can understand her thinking which is more than I can say about those who believe popping pills is always the solution!

Maureen woke me rather early this morning concerned that she had a plane to catch.  She was trying to find the lady who was travelling with her.  As I was half awake at the time I didn’t pursue the issue but assumed they were going on holiday together.  It took her a while to accept that she must have been dreaming before she drifted back into sleeping on the sofa.

I couldn’t sleep after my early awakening and tidied up a few things before going back to bed.  My dream didn’t wake me up but I have a recollection of being back on the shop floor of the car industry and struggling to find the machine I was working on.  Being lost in all sorts of situations often features in my dreams for some strange reason.

The reality this morning is that builders will be her shortly to continue digging out for the foundations of our Day Room.  Maureen doesn’t seem particularly unsettled by their presence possibly because they have made it safe for us to access the lawned area of our back garden.  She appeared to have a good time with our carer yesterday afternoon,  from the laughter that rang out from our dining room.  It will be interesting to see how things go this morning with a Temporary Girl Wednesday who is with us for the remainder of the week: a much younger model renowned for her vivid clothing.

I hope Maureen is awake before I go out this morning following an unfortunate incident two days ago when Girl Sunday had a difficult time dealing with hostile challenges to her presence.  It was rather fortunate that Maureen’s son arrived shortly after she awoke and took over the baton and was told in no uncertain terms what his mother thought of him.  Thankfully, Maureen calmed down before his departure and as he left he said ‘two different mothers today’.

Those early moments when you first wake up always difficult: when you have dementia and have been dreaming it must be a nightmare to try to establish your reality.  As  I drafted this post, Maureen was swirling a tea towel around her body and enquiring if she had to go to school today!

When Maureen lay on the sofa yesterday evening following an afternoon in the sun she said to me: ‘I feel so frightened’.  She went on to tell me how difficult it was to do simple things and how her confidence had been shattered.  I tried to reassure that I would always try to help her just as she had done for me during difficult times in my life.

I didn’t like to tell Maureen that I had been struggling to understand her presentation for most of the day.  It was late afternoon before I grasped what was behind the changes in her reality when she said ‘I didn’t know where I was until I saw all that loosestrife; then I knew I was in my garden’:

Then she revealed what had really spooked her yesterday.  A new carer had turned up and grilled her with questions during the morning.  Maureen thought this was a Memory Test in the preparation for readmitting her into a Care Home.  This may have sparked a challenging evening and a dreadful night.  Thank goodness I have decided to take her with me to London on Friday rather than recreating her worst nightmare: locked up in a strange place!

It was after 3 ‘o’clock this morning before Maureen was able to lay down on the couch.  I had listened to her monologue via the Baby Monitor between brief naps as I lay on the bed in the spare room.  Fortunately, it is a good day for grounding Maureen after a period of abject confusion.  It is likely that the presence of Girl Tuesday along with my sister and her husband will be just what the doctor ordered: with her jailer becoming her husband once again.

The odds of being able to persuade Maureen to get into the chauffeur’s car on Friday have lengthened. If this hot spell continues I think the odds will go out even further.  At 5 am I am still The Enemy with abuse being hurled in my direction whenever the opportunity arises.  My inclination at the moment is to keep my money where my mouth is rather than bringing about Maureen’s worst nightmare!

At 5 am I am still ‘The Enemy’ with abuse being hurled in my direction whenever the opportunity arises.  However,  with regard, to the trip to Lond, n my inclination is to keep my money where my mouth is rather than bringing about Maureen’s worst nightmare.  Just as I am about to post this Blog Maureen has asked me if she can share my bed as she is so frightened!

I’ve had to pull out all the stops today to distract and redirect Maureen from her distress following the visit by our Key Worker yesterday.  Then disaster struck when our phone line went down in the morning so no music via YouTube.  I have to hand it to Talk Talk they fixed the problem very quickly and Maeve was back on the screen and her Nana was singing along and clapping after every number:

What would really put the icing on the cake now is a phone call confirming that Maeve and her dad will be visiting us in Cleethorpes very soon!

I know I’m tempting fate by posting at this time as there is still possibly a long night ahead.  However, as Carers Week is drawing to a close I want to post about the importance of ‘Listening To Carers’ tomorrow.