I woke up from a vivid  dream this morning struggling to grasp where I was in my life story.  This frightening start to the day gave me a glimpse of what it might be like for Maureen each time she wakes after sleeping.  Only a few minutes ago I heard her crying in the bedroom as she had woken and not known where she was.

Yesterday afternoon she told me that she had been dreaming of life as a child; waiting to go into the Saturday Morning Matinee at the Empire in Nottingham.   Later in the evening, she was frightened because she thought there was a strange man in the house.

Our sleep patterns seem to be improving slightly with Maureen accepting my gentle encouragement ‘to try for another hour’ when she wakes during the night.  The Webinar on Sleep and Dementia has also given me some further ideas on how we can both get a good night’s sleep:thank you Amazing Susan for pointing me in this direction.

When Maureen woke this morning she was concerned that she didn’t know what we were going to do today.  So I replied in my normal fashion: ‘to have an easy day’.

Maureen sought me out, in the spare room, at 2 am this morning to tell me that she ‘had been thinking that nobody liked her’.  She was particularly concerned that her offers to help were being rejected by all and sundry.  This was very different to my status early in the previous evening when I was clearly not her favourite person..

Maureen went out for a walk yesterday afternoon and when I tracked her down she refused to join me in the car, so I left her to it and returned home.  An hour later I toured the local area once again and there was no sign of her.  As I returned from another fruitless search I saw Maureen in the garden along with one of her cousins who had kindly returned her home in her car..

Once in the house Maureen berated me on all sorts of fronts.  I eventually realised that she thought I was her previous husband when she mentioned his sister.  The attack continued for some time concentrating on my ongoing attempts to ‘belittle her and prove she was stupid’.  Following a cup of tea, and a phone call from her son, she eventually calmed down and decided on an early night.

Her visit to see me in the spare room was a sad occasion as Maureen recounted stories of always feeling left out by most people and ignored by her close family.  She clearly had no memory of her eldest son visiting us on Monday or the earlier phone call from her other son.  Once again she was very sad that there was no contact from her parents, who have long passed from this world.

When you are a Care Partner for someone with dementia you have to get used to rolling with the punches and ignoring hurtful comments.  It is clear that Maureen would like more contact with her immediate family and I have suggested, once again, that a visit to Nottingham to see her brother and sister is long overdue.

There are now six days to go before Maureen and I move into Lindsey Hall Nursing Home. Today’s post is the start of the countdown to the next phase of our lives: I’m very excited about what lies ahead.

My focus has to remain om minimising distress as I attempt the very thing that someone with dementia fears – CHANGE.   I have to tread very carefully in the next six days as we approach the next phase of our lives.

I risked it yesterday afternoon by taking Maureen to visit our new home.  Her diatribe about carers opened the door to changing our domestic set up.  I told her that I had an idea how we could work together as Activity Organisers in a Holiday Home that was about to open.  Her immediate reaction was ‘she had lost her confidence and doubted her ability to be able to do anything’.

She was very circumspect as we walked the corridors of Lindsey Hall.  The place resembled a building site with all hands on deck to get the place ready for opening on Monday.  She made it clear that she didn’t like the place or support my suggestion in any way.  

As our moving date approaches there is lots’ to be done.  I will have to tread very carefully in the next few days to ensure a relatively smooth transition to our new abode.

For the second morning in succession Maureen has woken shortly after midnight.  The accusations and the remonstrations continued for a while: she was threatening to report me to the police for keeping her here.  At one stage I thought she was going to hop it and hurriedly got my things together to trail her.

Later in the morning Maureen became very upset that none of her clothes felt comfortable or belonged to her.  I managed to ease her into bed for a short while but it wasn’t long before she was up again wandering about the house in a restless state.

It is fortunate I’m meeting Gary my social worker this morning, as we need to address Maureen’s current presentation.  I’m worn out and face Carer Burnout unless I can find some way of getting much needed rest.