Category Archives: General

Dementia: Five Days To Go

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Another troubled night has left me pretty worn out at a time I really need to be on my toes. With 5 days to go there is lots to be done in preparation for our move.  This isn’t quite the last throw of the dice but it is certainly an opportunity too good to miss.

I want our transition to Lindsey Hall Nursing Home to be as distress free as possible for Maureen.  Therefore the thought of ‘Fail to Plan: Plan to Fail’ is staring at me every time I look in the mirror.  Tomorrow I hope to circulate a Discussion Document as ‘Many Hands Make Light Work’.  Please feel free to comment on my thinking.

Once again I am grateful to Bill Malley one of my Line Manager’s when I worked for Coventry City Council.  His considered approach to managing staff was a refreshing change to the general approach within the Community Education Department.  Bill often circulated Discussion Documents to help determine Working Positions.

 

Dementia: Six Days To Go

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There are now six days to go before Maureen and I move into Lindsey Hall Nursing Home. Today’s post is the start of the countdown to the next phase of our lives: I’m very excited about what lies ahead.

My focus has to remain om minimising distress as I attempt the very thing that someone with dementia fears – CHANGE.   I have to tread very carefully in the next six days as we approach the next phase of our lives.

I risked it yesterday afternoon by taking Maureen to visit our new home.  Her diatribe about carers opened the door to changing our domestic set up.  I told her that I had an idea how we could work together as Activity Organisers in a Holiday Home that was about to open.  Her immediate reaction was ‘she had lost her confidence and doubted her ability to be able to do anything’.

She was very circumspect as we walked the corridors of Lindsey Hall.  The place resembled a building site with all hands on deck to get the place ready for opening on Monday.  She made it clear that she didn’t like the place or support my suggestion in any way.  

As our moving date approaches there is lots’ to be done.  I will have to tread very carefully in the next few days to ensure a relatively smooth transition to our new abode.

 

 

Dementia: A Double Celebration

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Next Friday the 23rd of September is the birthday of my son Steven.

It is now the provisional date for us moving into Lindsey Hall Nursing Home.

I am hoping that I will be able to become an Activities Organiser within the Home.

Maureen is always saying I’m too young to retire!

Dementia: Put On A Happy Face

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I went to bed last night with a feeling that something positive is on the horizon.  The prospect of moving into Lindsey Hall Nursing Home has put a spring into my step.  I have to admit with autumn around the corner I was becoming concerned about how we would cope when it was too cold to go outside.

One thing I have learned in life is not to count your chickens before they are hatched.  So as the arrangements for moving into our new home are processed it has to be business as usual.  There are so many what ifs at the moment that I have to stay calm and carry on as normal.

Chloe will be here at 10 am for a carer sit with Maureen.  I need to do the weekly shop to make sure we have provisions for the coming week.  However as I go about today’s business there are more reasons than ever to ‘Put On A Happy Face’. 

 

Dementia: It Really Is Amazing

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I hope Amazing Susan will forgive the title of this post but some excellent news at last.

Within a month I expect we will be in Lindsey Hall Nursing Home.  I have booked a double room in this fabulous place and am really excited about the prospect of our new lives.

As with anything there is a lot of water to go under the bridge on this journey but you can be sure I will keep blogging as things move forward.

Dementia: Endless Sleep

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Trying to find  Maureen started yesterday, has continued through the night, and into this morning.  When I took the call from Royal Court yesterday I had to track her down in Cleethorpes.  During the night she has moved from her downstairs bed up to the marital bedroom and back down again.  The real positive from yesterday is that she now has a focus on us both getting plenty of sleep – which we did last night. I serenaded her with my version of this number a while ago to help make the point:

I have now spun the events of yesterday in a positive manner by going along with Maureen’s reality.  I’m pleased to say she is not against us both going back to that ‘nice place’ today.  I’m not at all surprised by her reaction as Royal Court is all that I anticipated it would be.  I know there is still mileage in my instinct that Royal Court could yet become an important part of our support package with its compassion approach to residents.

We will explore the potential for Lindsey Hall Nursing Home this morning.  I’m meeting the Dementia Manager at 10.30, along with our social worker, and am excited at seeing this state of the art approach to Residential Care.  The building has been converted from surplus accommodation of the secondary school that did me an incredible favour. Lindsey School was the nail in my coffin in my career as a Supply Teacher.  When I was escorted off the premises for having ‘issues with the school’ I resolved to call time on earning money in the cauldron of supply teaching – a decision I have never regretted.  How ironic that Lynsey could play a further significant part in our lives.

Footnote: I’ve just remembered Maureen and I saw Marty sing this song at Grimsby Auditorium a few years ago when we attended a Sixties Night – those were the days!

Dementia: Back To The Drawing Board

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Royal Court Care Home eventually decided they were unable to meet Maureen’s needs. She found a way out of their side entrance and became aggressive to staff who tried to persuade her to go back into the Home.  They tried to calm her down by taking her for a walk but she made off in a homeward direction and refused to leave the centre of Cleethorpes.

We have now been home for about three hours and she has settled down very quickly.  I have just woken after a couple of hours rest. Maureen is still sleeping.

It’s back to the drawing board tomorrow when I’m meeting our social worker at Lynsey Nursing Home: state of the art provision that opens for business for the first time on Monday.  Gary was very professional today as he skilfully tempted Maureen to give Royal Court a go – it’s a shame that things went pear shaped after she had eaten a good lunch!

 

 

 

Dementia: ‘Something’s Gotta Give’

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For the second morning in succession Maureen has woken shortly after midnight.  The accusations and the remonstrations continued for a while: she was threatening to report me to the police for keeping her here.  At one stage I thought she was going to hop it and hurriedly got my things together to trail her.

Later in the morning Maureen became very upset that none of her clothes felt comfortable or belonged to her.  I managed to ease her into bed for a short while but it wasn’t long before she was up again wandering about the house in a restless state.

It is fortunate I’m meeting Gary my social worker this morning, as we need to address Maureen’s current presentation.  I’m worn out and face Carer Burnout unless I can find some way of getting much needed rest.

Dementia: A Funny Day: A Dreadful Night

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Image result for A Funny Day An Awful Night PictureMaureen was looking for fun yesterday.  She spent quite a time in the morning and early afternoon trying to attach clothing pegs to my person.  Then she hid on a couple of occasions when she knew I was looking for her.  The surprising thing about all this activity was that she didn’t have a rest throughout the day.

In the afternoon Maureen’s brother phoned to let us know that he was planning a visit next week.  Barrie’s call led to confusion and concern about his visit.  I added to Maureen’s confusion by foolishly phoning her Aunty Clarice to clarify her whereabouts from the last few days.  Then I made a further mistake by encouraging Maureen to hear about Clarice’s adventures at Centre Parks.

Last night she spent ages getting ready for bed – repeating one routine after another.  I was very tired so I eventually took to the spare room in an effort to get some rest.  It is possible that I have paid very dearly for my impatience and my phone call to Clarice earlier.

At 1 am I heard activity from the marital bedroom – with doors and drawers being opened and shut. When I entered I found Maureen crying with despair as she sat on the bed.   Once again none of the clothes in the room belonged to her and they all smelled of perfume.  It took a while to encourage her to accompany me downstairs for a cup of tea.

The early morning challenges have continued with the usual routines of not living here and others stealing her belongings, alongside hostility towards me as the owner of this establishment.  We have both had several ‘breakfasts’ in an effort to cool things down a little.  Despite my exhaustion I have tried to fix a smile on my face and keep my communication simple: resisting the temptation to vent my frustration when I’m in ear shot.

As I prepare to despatch this post Maureen is crying again: ‘wanting to go home’ – my request for clarification reveals that she want to be with her mum, dad and siblings.  Then she says ‘we are all in the same boat here; we can’t go home until we get better’:  a smile is all I can manage as I am stumped for words on this one!

When Charlotte, today’s carer, arrives later this morning I’ll take off to the Leisure Centre: the prospect of lounging in the Sauna and Spa is a very attractive prospect .  I don’t think it is wise to attend an afternoon meditation session as I would be likely to drift off into sleep, and this would not be a good introduction to fellow participants.

Dementia: On Target? (Week One)

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Image result for on target picturesI have decided that setting some weekly targets is one way of seeing if I’m really doing a good job as a Care Partner for my wife. One a day seems a sensible starting point.  This weeks seven are:

  • To smile more and communicate clearly
  • To visit family in Coventry
  • To have a day out together
  • To go out and leave Maureen to her own devices for an hour on two separate occasions
  • To revise and dance our routines to the Cha Cha in our Lounge
  • To encourage Maureen to do crosswords or jigsaws
  • To attempt to resolve Maureen’s shortage of clothing