Things flared up again yesterday for the second Sunday in succession.  The early part of the day had passed without incident, apart from Maureen having no idea who Girl Sunday was.  On Saturday she had asked the same carer if she was my wife!

Our adventure started in the afternoon when Maureen became concerned about the whereabouts of Granddad.  I suggested that we should go and look for him, as this gave me a welcome opportunity to ease her out of a dressing gown that she had been wearing for 48 hours.  Once she was suitably attired we traced our steps of seven days ago. Although, we didn’t quite make it to a Close where she had made such an impact the week before.

We had a lovely walk, chatting about all sorts of things, for about an hour.  Maureen seemed in a hurry and I hoped that explained her hunched stature as we made our way back home.  Once in the house, Maureen became convinced there were dogs in the rear garden and ran off through the front door.

I trailed her around the streets for some time as she tried to get away from danger.  Once we neared home, I edged her into the car as a safe haven from canine attack. McDonald’s, once again, was a game changer: with a Chocolate McFlurry easing Maureen’s sore mouth and shifting her reality.

When we returned home, Maureen danced and sang to Nat King Cole as I cooked a late evening meal.   She was in great voice and the number of songs she knew was amazing.   Shortly after we had finished eating, Maureen made her way upstairs and eased her tired body into the marital bed.  I joined her a short while later leaving the kitchen looking like a bomb site.  After reclaiming my pillow -she had all three- we both had a good night’s rest.

I’m hoping that things will settle down this week.  We have familiar Girls on duty, apart from the weekend, and Mcdonald’s is only ever a stone throw away!

Just before posting I’ve played an Ace by telling Maureen that her sister will be able to come and stay with us in the newly built Sun Room.  If her brother and his wife follow up I know that we will see a very different Maureen.  She is delighted with the prospect of the family she misses so much being reunited in just a few weeks!

Maureen landed a beauty last night and I expect to have a shiner this morning.  She thought I was trying to force her to sleep with me and lashed out with venom making contact with the area around my left eye.  Anybody who is aware of Maureen’s history will understand her fears about what can go on in the bedroom even when you are married!

It took lorazepam and two visits from the Night Patrol of our Care Agency before Maureen felt safe enough to sleep in her own home.  I’m hoping that a quarter of a tablet will mean that she has a good rest and is still able to enjoy the fresh air she loves today.

It isn’t surprising that Maureen lost her bearings last night after a tiring day with far too many people here.  At one stage we had five workmen here along with three relatives and a carer.  The various comings and going throughout the day would have drained anyone.

If my shiner is as pronounced as I expect it to be will be I will tell Maureen I walked into a door.  There is no way I want to remind her of the dreadful experiences that led to her lashing out last night: they are best forgotten.  What I will refresh her memory of is the lovely time she had with her brother and a beautiful walk we had around the Boating Lake after another visit to McDonald’s.  I might even take her for yet another Raspberry McFlurry today because we did ‘have a nice day’ but oh what a night!

Maureen is very confused this morning: at 8 am I will telephone Clee Medical Centre to request a home visit for a review of her physical health.

It would be tempting to start Maureen on Trazodone after the events in the early hours  This medication has been  prescribed by a Specialist Doctor who has assessed Maureen and knows what lies ahead:

• Maureen waking in the early hours not knowing who I am and accusing me of keeping her here against her will so I can have my wicked way with her.
• An hour or two later she waking again wanting to go home but cannot find any clothes to wear.
•  Having accidents after using the toilet and ending up in wet clothing.
• Letting me have it with both barrels until she runs out of steam and falls asleep

I have been advised that putting Maureen on Trazodone will ‘make my life easier’ or ‘to let the Services do their job’  – an inference that there is no other way than to open the bottle.

What stops me from giving Maureen the fix is that from my perspective Trazodone is a one way street to a chemical cosh.  In no way is that a criticism of the Services that are trying to support us: it is a rejection of a medical model for dealing with dementia that is far from person-centered.

Maureen is sensitive to most medication: one tablet of citalopram put her in hospital.  The only blood pressure tablet she tolerates is lisinopril: she has had adverse reactions to any others that have been tried.  The passage below is almost a Black Box warning for someone with dementia:

‘Common side effects of trazodone include:

Subjecting Maureen to Trazodone covertly is something she would not tolerate in any shape or form.  Therefore, there has to be another way to deal with this aspect of her current presentation.  She had a ‘Sofa Day’ yesterday: that is really something to focus upon!

No medication will quieten things down when plumbers arrive in number around 8.30. They will be making a lot of noise as they begin to create our new shower room. I’m not sure how I’m going to hold the fort until Maureen’s brother and his wife arrive mid morning.  Perhaps, the ensuing racket will persuade to get off the sofa and she will sleep like a newly born baby tonight!