This morning I’m very grateful to Kelsang Dorde for his  change of profile picture on Facebook:

He has reminded me of what I have to reluctantly accept.  Maureen has dementia: my wife has gone.  There is no point in trying to get her back: my role as her Care Partner is to minimise distress.

Maureen has often said to me : ‘what’s the plan Action Man’.  Perhaps she needs to replace that with: ‘where’s my gear Batman’.  This morning I have been on my daily task of finding the things she will need when she wakes up and putting them in places where she would expect to find them.  I have hunted down the missing socks, put out clean underwear and the missing slipper is on my radar.  Once tea has lubricated the parts other liquids don’t touch first thing in the morning, she will be able to make a smooth transition into the upright mode.

I can’t even imagine what it feels like if some unkind sole has moved or stolen your gear in the night and everything you need  has gone AWOL.  Batman has to rise early in the morning and do all he can to minimise distress.  Robin is only ever a phone call away with the professional help that is always at hand and I intend to post about this later in the day under the heading of  ‘The Other Women’.

Thanks Dorde for your ongoing teaching.  What a pity I haven’t got one of your meditation sessions to go to this morning to help me to let go of what can never return.