It is rather ironic that as Dementia Awareness Week comes to an end that yesterday I found myself hurriedly trying to bring some unexpected visitors up to speed  The nature of our relationship made my intervention relatively simple as we had only met our guests earlier in the week  However, we had probably both overlooked that they were ‘on a mission’ and keen to share the benefits of their faith and leave us with the Book of Mormon.  After a while I could see that Maureen was reeling from the flow of information and sentiment so I decided to invite one of them to help me tidy up the kitchen.

It must be really hard for occasional visitors to see beyond Maureen’s Hostess Mode.  They never see her frustration and exhaustion following their visits.  It is also very difficult for me to encourage them to back off when they and she are in full flow.  What I was able to do yesterday was without fear of recrimination: something not so easily done with family members who get carried away when they are in Maureen’s company.  Perhaps the time has come to have some open conversations and share the 12 Helpful Hints from an earlier post.

I intend to take a low key approach to today and see what Maureen presents.  It will be interesting to see what she remembers from yesterday: I have purposely left the Book of Mormon around.  It’s possible that she has forgotten her behaviour at 2.30 am when she returned from the bathroom, after getting lost on the way, complaining this was an ‘a******* sort of a place with no names on the doors’.  This was an unusual turn of phrase expressing her concern about not being able to find her way around and having a ‘stranger’ in her bed.  I removed myself to the spare room to bring to an end Maureen leaving and returning to the room and switching the light on and off – presumably to see if ‘a stranger’ was still in her bed.

There are many occasions when I wish I had someone to pull me to one side and tell me where I might back off or try something a  different.  Now I wonder if it is time to top up Maureen’s tea pot: always a safe staring point on any morning.