Maureen woke at half past three this morning wondering if staff were on duty in this Care Home before dawn .  She wanted a cup of tea, because her mouth felt dry, and  was very pleased when I told her I would help as I knew where  things were.  I couldn’t leave her to her own devices anyway, as she often tries to boil the kettle without the lid on.  When we got out of bed she expressed concern that we might get into trouble for waking the other residents up. Then she said it didn’t matter as we were being kept here because: ‘they thought we were mad.’

It’s not surprisng Maureen is awake at this time of the morning; she went to bed very early last night.  It is possible that I woke her early this morning after visiting the bathroom.  She is now back in bed, with tea, and will have little difficulty going back to sleep. Unfortunately, once I am awake It is difficult to ‘switch off’ with my thoughts on ‘what next?’

I gave an early morning airing to the possibility of swimming during the next few days.  The initial response has not been positive, with concerns about the water in the pool being cold.  It could be I played my card too early.  I will return to this theme later and keep pushing out the boat until it is floating on the water.

My other predominant thought is getting to see my own family.  Scarlett a regular contributor to Talking Point asserts that DIY is the only way of making such things happen.  She shares her experiences as follows:

During my 12 year “journey” with John, along the Alzheimer’s path I learned

(a) Nobody phones you back when they say they will

(b) Appointments are cancelled at a moment’s notice, and rescheduled

(c) Then they’re cancelled again

(d) Social Workerss, et al, are constantly on annual leave, on a course, sick or at a meeting

(e) Don’t assume that once you’ve explained everything in great detail, and “someone” has been sitting in your home, writing notes – that’s it. Because …

(f) Every new person you encounter wants to carry out their own assessment

(g) Being stoic, and not bothering anyone, gets you nowhere

In the relatively short time that I have been a Care Partner my  experiences mirror Scarlett’s, and many others, from what I have read on Talking Point.  I simply have to grasp the nettle, and develop my DIY skills, if our journey with dementia is to progress in the right direction.

The only way I am going to be able to see my own family is to arrange the care that is needed for Maureen myself. That way I will not be depending on others; who may have other priorities.  The time has arrived to build a positive relationship with staff at the new Care Agency.