I have taken out a paragraph from the post I reblogged from George Rook yesterday to open today’s blog:

People with dementia, and remember it can happen young, are generally left to their own devices. They lose jobs. They meditate on their forthcoming decline. They become depressed. They lose social contact and community interaction. They may descend into living with misery.

His hard hitting analysis of the way dementia is treated in this country hits the nail on the head  from what I have seen and we have experienced. During the coming week I will use George’s analysis to help me formulate my Action Plan for the next few months.  What follows is my starting point: becoming more dementia friendly.

I can make life easier for Maureen in all sorts of ways.  I need to acknowledge that her brain has been damaged by stroke and the dementia that has followed is a progressive condition.  What I need become is Maureen’s back up brain    (BUB,Swaffer).  That also means I have to make some fundamental changes in my approach to daily living: something of a  role reversal in our household.

One of Maureen’s mantras used to be: ‘everything has its place and everything in its place’.   In the early days of our relationship I must have driven her mad with my chaotic approach to life: with little having its place.  I now have to develop a very tidy and systematic approach to life.

I also have to keep reminding myself that Maureen needs to be prompted on many aspects of daily living.  If I leave her to her own devices, she can forget what she is doing or get completely lost in a task.  Yesterday morning she put newly washed clothing on the line alongside items that were waiting their turn to go in the washing machine. The other evening she got completely mixed up when she was trying to tidy up the mess I had left in the kitchen.  Last night while I was watching televison in the lounge I found her in floods of tears ‘wondering how she got had here’.  This morning she is crying thatshe: ‘wants to go home to be with her family’.  Therefore, I need to keep to the forefront of my mind that her short term memory might let her down at any time and  lead to confusion and distress.

So the first stage of my Action Plan is to become more dementia friendly myself.   I need to be more organised and take account of the progression of Maureen’s dementia and up my game accordingly.