Tag Archives: Tiredness

Dementia: She’s Landed A Beauty!

Mixed Dementia, ,

Image result for Black Eye pictureMaureen landed a beauty last night and I expect to have a shiner this morning.  She thought I was trying to force her to sleep with me and lashed out with venom making contact with the area around my left eye.  Anybody who is aware of Maureen’s history will understand her fears about what can go on in the bedroom even when you are married!

It took lorazepam and two visits from the Night Patrol of our Care Agency before Maureen felt safe enough to sleep in her own home.  I’m hoping that a quarter of a tablet will mean that she has a good rest and is still able to enjoy the fresh air she loves today.

It isn’t surprising that Maureen lost her bearings last night after a tiring day with far too many people here.  At one stage we had five workmen here along with three relatives and a carer.  The various comings and going throughout the day would have drained anyone.

If my shiner is as pronounced as I expect it to be will be I will tell Maureen I walked into a door.  There is no way I want to remind her of the dreadful experiences that led to her lashing out last night: they are best forgotten.  What I will refresh her memory of is the lovely time she had with her brother and a beautiful walk we had around the Boating Lake after another visit to McDonald’s.  I might even take her for yet another Raspberry McFlurry today because we did ‘have a nice day’ but oh what a night!

Maureen is very confused this morning: at 8 am I will telephone Clee Medical Centre to request a home visit for a review of her physical health.

Dementia: Trazodone – No Thanks!

Mixed Dementia, ,

 

 

Image result for No thanks PictureIt would be tempting to start Maureen on Trazodone after the events in the early hours  This medication has been  prescribed by a Specialist Doctor who has assessed Maureen and knows what lies ahead:

  • Maureen waking in the early hours not knowing who I am and accusing me of keeping her here against her will so I can have my wicked way with her.
  • An hour or two later she waking again wanting to go home but cannot find any clothes to wear.
  •  Having accidents after using the toilet and ending up in wet clothing.
  • Letting me have it with both barrels until she runs out of steam and falls asleep

I have been advised that putting Maureen on Trazodone will ‘make my life easier’ or ‘to let the Services do their job’  – an inference that there is no other way than to open the bottle.

What stops me from giving Maureen the fix is that from my perspective Trazodone is a one way street to a chemical cosh.  In no way is that a criticism of the Services that are trying to support us: it is a rejection of a medical model for dealing with dementia that is far from person-centered.

Maureen is sensitive to most medication: one tablet of citalopram put her in hospital.  The only blood pressure tablet she tolerates is lisinopril: she has had adverse reactions to any others that have been tried.  The passage below is almost a Black Box warning for someone with dementia:

‘Common side effects of trazodone include:

  • Headache.
  • Muscle ache.
  • Nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, or stomachache.
  • Constipation or diarrhea.
  • Loss of interest in sex (erectile dysfunction in men)
  • Dizziness or loss of balance.
  • Dry mouth or dry eyes.
  • Numbness, burning, or tingling sensations.
More items…

 

Subjecting Maureen to Trazodone covertly is something she would not tolerate in any shape or form.  Therefore, there has to be another way to deal with this aspect of her current presentation.  She had a ‘Sofa Day’ yesterday: that is really something to focus upon!

No medication will quieten things down when plumbers arrive in number around 8.30. They will be making a lot of noise as they begin to create our new shower room. I’m not sure how I’m going to hold the fort until Maureen’s brother and his wife arrive mid morning.  Perhaps, the ensuing racket will persuade to get off the sofa and she will sleep like a newly born baby tonight!

 

Dementia: Saved By SPA

Mixed Dementia,

Image result for Single Point of Access North East Lincs Picture

My legs felt like jelly this morning and I was rather concerned.  At 7 am the Nurse at SPA was able to confirm that the blood tests undertaken on Friday were satisfactory.  She also mentioned that it would take a couple more days before I felt the benefit of my belated B12 injection.  As this injection was due in April it is possible that muscle weakness is the cause of my problems.  How wonderful it would be if the discomfort in my shoulders also went away when the B12 injection kicks in.

Once again I count my blessings we live in an area where SPA is available.

 

Dementia: Plan B – ‘May The Force Be With You’

Mixed Dementia, ,

Posted at 6.45 am

Image result for May The Force Be with you picture

When I spoke to him earlier this morning, my friend* from the Konar Suite suggested I needed a Plan B  when I am struggling to contain Maureen in the middle of the night.  My ‘Working Position’ over the next 24 hours is listed below:

  • I have already texted Maureen’s son, who will be here around 11 am, to ask him to stay overnight.
  • I have also asked Focus Adult Social Care to provide a Night Sitter tonight.
  • I will seek further coaching on how to deal with Maureen when she doesn’t recognise me and feels I’m keeping her a prisoner.
  • I will meditate at various intervals during the day to calm my mind.
  • If Maureen sleeps during the day I will attempt to rest at the same time.

If all goes to plan in the next couple of days the Building Site will become less evident. All scaffolding should come down today.  New windows and doors could be in place by the end of the week.

I know I will get lots of advice this morning and if the weather stays fine for the builders we are in with a Sporting Chance to calm things down.  In the early hours of this morning, I might have been tempted to reach for that bottle of trazodone if  I hadn’t seen what has happened to my dear brother.  I firmly believe if he had been handled more thoughtfully he would have still been with us today rather than a shell of the man he used to be!

Footnote:  Maureen is now fast asleep; tea, TLC and Youtube helped along with me serenading her with love songs.

  • My friend from the Konar Suite looked after me when I was a mental health patient several years ago.  He calls me Mr Suduko as I spent my time trying to solve number puzzles during my time on the Sapphire Suite when our Mental Health Unit was at Grimsby Hospital.  He has likened me to one of the Jedi Knights hence: ‘May The Force Be With You’.

Dementia: I’m Not Counting My Chickens

Mixed Dementia, ,

Image result for I'm Not Counting My Chickens pictureMaureen seems more settled after a Lorazepam induced rest.  It’s early days so I’m not counting my chickens before they’ve hatched.  I will share further detail on Monday when I next post.

Sincere thanks to all of our supporters -have a good weekend.

Dementia: I Hope It’s A UTI

Mixed Dementia, ,

Image result for I hope It's A UTI Dementia Picture

I’m posting this blog shortly after midnight.   I woke a short time ago to find Maureen standing in the kitchen talking to a vacuum cleaner that she has wrapped in a blanket. Several assessments will take place later on this morning to try to establish what is behind significant changes in her presentation that began to emerge yesterday.

Once again, I count my blessings that we live in North East Lincolnshire where telephone assistance is available 24/7.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that a UTI and lack of sleep are behind her presentation.  I’m also hoping that the little girl in our vacuum cleaner continues to provide Maureen with comfort.

Updates will follow

 4.20 am  I’m hoping that a Mental Health Nurse from The Konar Suite will be here shortly to assess whether medication might help to calm Maureen down – I have never seen her like this before!

4.40 am  Just received confirmation from the Mental Health Nurse that Rapid Response is on the way to conduct a physical assessment of Maureen.

Dementia: Facing Reality

Mixed Dementia, ,

Image result for Facing Reality Picture

I felt tired and completely overwhelmed by our situation yesterday.  Throughout the day I struggled to cope with my environment.  Maureen’s presentation fluctuated at such a rate that at one stage I doubted who I was and where I lived.  Our builders, along with two joiners, were making such a racket that any thoughts of a siesta were out of the question.  The shell of our Day Room was being used as a dumping ground and resembled a bomb site.  Towards the end of the day, I began to wonder whether I had got carried away with the ideas about a Day Room and was failing to face the reality of life as a Care Partner.

Maureen woke very early this morning and I tried a bit of Barney to cajole her into the marital bed:

This was a person-centred approach as Maureen loves a lot of Barney and will always join in with the chorus.  Once again she was ‘having none of it’ as they say and went on to berate me for ‘never being at home or often in the bed of others’.  It didn’t take me long to understand that she was confusing my behaviour with ‘her previous’.  However, shifting tack again did the trick and led to a really positive outcome.

I decided to give Maureen space before turning on Mr Nice Guy by telling her about my faltering attempts to return to drawing.  After describing my struggles with the pencil yesterday I told her that I wanted to attempt to sketch her while she was sleeping.  She then asked me what I wanted to do today and I suggested going for a walk on the beach and collecting shells.  We made this a date and collection will begin later – weather permitting.  If our mission is successful we plan to paint the shells and add to the collection that we already have from the efforts of our grandchildren.

The reality of this morning is that Maureen may well forget about our planned walk on the beach.  What I have to face is that I can’t go on like this: no-one could or should be expected to.  The demands being placed on me are unsustainable.  This became obvious when I met our Key Worker last week.  He was uncomfortable with my plans to engage a carer for a 48-hour stint so I could have a break.   Any reader of this blog will be aware of the exhausting sagas that have followed previous ‘Respite Breaks’.

I have not been able to sleep, and have been ruminating over our situation, since my early morning awakening.   A ‘Respite Break’ is far from the solution, in fact, we have been worse off after a period of separation.

The ‘shell seekers’ have to come up with their own solutions to the challenges we now face.  Some of my initial thinking has been along the following lines:

  • Using carer sits to reduce my involvement in domestic tasks and cooking.
  • Exploring the possibilities of short breaks together.
  • Exploring new activities together and with others.
  • Seeking advice on how to make our home more dementia friendly.
  • Reviewing the outline plans for our Sun Room.

There is no doubt that the level of support we receive in our neck of the woods is exceptional.  The attempts to support carers and their partners in a person-centred way are genuine.  However, the reality is that I’m tired and ‘Respite Breaks’ have not worked: so we have to try something different!

Footnote:  Just as I am about to post Maureen is campaigning to be taken home.  She doesn’t want to stay in here any longer as she is now fully recovered.  I doubt we will make the beach this morning but the aspirations of the ‘shell seekers’ remain viable!

 

Dementia: A Change Of Tack

Mixed Dementia,

Image result for Changing Tack Dementia Cartoon

I got it completely wrong this morning with my 2 ‘o’clock greeting to Maureen as I heard her make her way upstairs.  She didn’t respond at all well to my Charlie Drake impression of: ‘hello my darling’.  It soon became clear that the feelings were not reciprocated as I was the man who was encouraging her ‘to sleep or dress up in horse blankets’.  She then went on to ask ‘why was I talking in a strange voice or if I was drunk?’

It didn’t take me long to grasp that my aspirations to get her into bed beside me were rather optimistic.  Clearly, my hopes to provide early morning cognitive stimulation were out of the question: getting my marching orders were far more likely!  However, rather than leave Maureen to rant I decided to change tack in an attempt to shift her reality.

My first move was to address the horse blanket issue head on and agree that we needed softer bedding.  Two old nags like us need the comfort of continental quilts and all we have to do is cut up a double to make two singles.  Having solved this issue I returned to something I had mentioned yesterday: to start sketching again  I  showed Maureen some of my previous work.  She suggested that I had a hidden talent for drawing and that led me to mention Susan Boyle.  Once I called her up on YouTube we were away; singing along for over an hour, especially to this one:

I think I will leave my Charlie Drake impressions alone for a while: I’m clearly not at my best first thing in the morning!  Sketching is something that may well become a joint activity particularly if I choose the right moment and have some music on in the background.

A short while ago Maureen asked me ‘how is grandma this morning?’  I’m used to her not knowing who I am but her son was shocked yesterday when for a while she thought he was her brother.  He was also surprised by how much her dementia had progressed since his visit earlier in the month.  Maureen has not mentioned anything about her son following his visit and remains distressed by the absence of visitors!  I have asked our Key Worker to visit on Wednesday afternoon to review Maureen’s presentation.  It is now a year since I was told Maureen had ‘moderate to severe dementia’ and her son and I both wonder if that diagnosis is still appropriate.

Dementia: ‘Just Go For It!’

Mixed Dementia, ,

Image result for Just Go For It Picture

Girl Tuesday afternoon, now also Our Night Sitter (ONS) arrived last night on schedule at 10 pm for the beginning of her shift.  Maureen was asleep on the couch when she arrived so I let her in and hot-footed it upstairs to bed.  It took a while to get to sleep with Craig David mid set at Meridian Show Ground.  My rest was fitful and I awoke several times to relieve myself: I must return to taking that homeopathic remedy to reduce my night time trips to the bathroom.

I ventured downstairs around four to see if a mug of chamomile tea would help me get further rest.  When I checked on Maureen, I found her awake and distressed.  She had returned to a theme of the previous day of: ‘people wanting her to dress up in rags’.  She told me she was ‘so pleased to see me’.  After listening for quite some time to her concern about ‘being bullied into wearing inappropriate clothing’  I managed to ease her upstairs with the promise of a cup of tea.

Once we were in our bedroom I found clothing in her wardrobe that could be worn today.  She was so relieved that there was something to wear and she ‘didn’t have to follow the other students and dress up in rags’.

Whilst lying on the bed  Maureen waxed lyrical about her days at High School where her feelings about being different to other people were highlighted. This is a familiar theme of ‘not feeling as good as the other pupils because her parents didn’t have much money’.  It took a while to shift her thinking and accept that she didn’t always have to play by the rules and could be her own mistress.

There is no doubt that playing some of our old favourites via YouTube on my mobile played a significant part in elevating her mood.  She also seemed excited by the prospect of UB40  serenading us in our back garden from 9 pm tonight:

We would have been at Meridian Showground ourselves tonight if UB40 hadn’t split up.  In my view, Ali Campbell is the voice of UB 40 and his brother Donald can never replace him.

My early morning antics have tired Maureen out and by 6 am she told me she needed further sleep.  I sent ONS home a couple of hours early once the kettle was boiling.  She left with a smile on her face before giving me a wink and telling me to ‘just go for it’.  I certainly did and I have no idea what will happen when Maureen wakes or what she will decide to wear today!

 

Dementia: Special Measures

Mixed Dementia, Uncategorized, , ,

 

Image result for Keep Calm We are in Special Measures Dementia Picture

On Thursday things went from bad to worse as the day progressed:

  •  Girl Thursday advised me it was her last shift as she needed to change her working hours.
  • The Alzheimer’s Society told me that I would no longer be able to access my Support Worker as we did not fit into their Pathway.
  • Maureen presentation became more challenging and it became difficult to persuade her to remain in the house.
  • Maureen was reluctant to cooperate with a Duty Worker from Focus Adult Social Care and told her to ‘get out of my house’.

The Duty Worker and I agreed that the option of a Respite Break where Maureen would be placed in a Care Home would not be in Maureen’s Best Interests.  We were both reluctant to chance going down a slippery path that could lead to Maureen becoming a permanent resident of a Care Home.  Fortunately, I managed to buy some time on our options by engaging a Night Sitter (Girl Tuesday Afternoon) who I booked from 9 pm until 7 am.

Sleep came easily to me once I hit the pillow shortly after the arrival of Girl Thursday Night.  Three hours later I awoke for a toilet break and checked on proceeding downstairs to find Maureen awake and in a combative mood.  However, feeling refreshed I managed to ease GTN out of the firing line to explore her availability for the next few days.

I now have a Holding Position for the next few days with some ‘Special Measures’ in place and some aspirations pending.  They reflect the decision of the Best Interest Meeting with Maureen staying at home along with some additional support:

  • GTN has been booked for Night Sits tonight and the following Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
  •  I will request an induction process for two new carers who will cover four shifts next week.
  • I will explore if it is possible for the support I have been receiving from the Alzheimer’s Society to continue while we are in Special Measures.

I hope that Girl Friday is able to work her magic this morning and become ‘Maureen’s hairdresser’ once again.  She has been on holiday for three weeks and I’m optimistic there will not be any hangover from her last when Maureen ordered her out of the house because she suspected we were having an affair!