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Dementia: Two Songs For Today

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3.30 am

In five hours time the process of admitting Maureen into Ashgrove Care Home will begin . The Home Treatment Team will be here a couple of hours later to support me as we ease Maureen a mile down the road to her new home for the next seven days.

At 3.30 am in the morning I’m not sure if I want to get back to sleep or savour these last few hours at home together by looking at her beautiful face: peacefully at rest once again.

Listening to two of our favourites from Dolly and Willie will help me through what is likely to be a rather challenging time:

 

 

Dementia: Early Morning Update

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3.00 am

I have just put in a call to Single Point of Access requesting support in the morning to place Maureen in Ashgrove Care Home for a period of immediate respite.  This request will be on our social worker’s screen as soon as he switches on his computer this morning.

Maureen has been awake for about an hour totally refreshed after being asleep from early evening.  I crawled into bed around nine feeling exhausted after another day of trying to lift the spirits of someone who is frequently in despair.  She stood looking forlorn in the kitchen yesterday evening saying: ‘I’ve forgotten my name’.  This follows on from a comment the day before that she ‘couldn’t remember how to do anything’.

When I took Maureen a cup of tea this morning she thought I was her dad.  She told me I was her hero for taking her on such wonderful holidays to the Isle of Man: I have never been there!

It was a stroke of luck that I visited Ashgrove yesterday following positive reports on the place.  It is on our doorstep but I was aware that it had been in Special Measures so I had not darkened their door. I’m glad I did as the place has been transformed since I  visited Maureen’s uncle there at the end of last year and they have immediate avilability for respite.

If I don’t get some quality sleep soon I will keel over and any involvement in where Maureen is cared for will be out of my hands!

Footnote: My status changed at 4 am when Maureen added this to our shopping list on the whiteboard: ‘HONEY FOR GRANDAD’.

“Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or another dementia”

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Even more excellent work from Kate Swaffer.

Kate Swaffer (she/her) Kaurna Country's avatar

Released 15 September 2016 Released 15 September 2016

The book Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or another dementia, co-authored with Associate Professor Lee-Fay Low was released officially on September 15 and has been well received.

Professor Henry Brodarty wrote the Foreword for it, which I am sharing here:

Thank you Lee-Fay for the shared twelve months we spent working on this book; it was truly a joy to work with you.

Thank you Henry, for your generous Foreword.

Most of all, my sincere thanks to all those people who agreed to be interviewed or answered our questionnaires to inform this book; without you, this book could never have been as well informed.

“Dementia is never one person’s illness. Its ripples spread wide enveloping family, touching friends and bumping up against professional services and care. Dementia can be cruel – hard for those affected and sometimes even harder for care partners. When Alzheimer’s and other dementia came out of…

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Dementia: A Lucky Musical Break

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I heard Maureen crying  on the Baby Monitor at 4 am this morning so I picked up my pillow and joined her in the marital bed.  As I lay down she told me that she thought I was in bed with another woman and was going to leave her. I decided to ease her concerns by singing her a Billy Fury number:

A little later on I went downstairs and put Willie and Kris on my Tablet:

Then my lucky break: this number from the Bee Gees staring up at me from my Playlist:

Yes today is our Wedding Anniversary: neither of us are certain how long we have been married – I think it is 18 years today ( I would need to check).  However, I do know I had to serve a six-year apprenticeship before Maureen would let me take her hand!

Dementia: Chlorine Is Preferable To Urine

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Image result for Nasty smell pictureI actually made it to Cleethorpes Leisure Centre yesterday morning to self-administer a bit of TLC to my tired body and mind.  The aroma in the swimming pool, sauna, and spa, was a pleasant relief from what had accompanied me on my visits to Care Homes the day before: chlorine is preferable to urine.  However, it wasn’t just the smell that put me off; it was the look  of hopelessness and despair on the faces of residents.

Maureen would have hated being incarcerated in any of the places I visited on Thursday.   Her life expectancy would have been months in any one of those Homes – she would have given up: feeling she had been abandoned and deserted in undesirable surroundings.   Although they are only the tip of the iceberg I have decided to call a halt on looking at other Care Homes in the area.  There seems little point in spending further time looking around when Lindsey Hall Nursing Home ticks all the boxes:  my task is to remain patient and find ways of coping until Day Care becomes a viable option.  This means taking every opportunity to have a break from my duties as a Care Partner by finding regenerative activities during daily Carer Sits.  I will post what I have been up to on this front on a daily basis:  it’s one of those occasions when actions will speak louder than words!

 

 

Dementia: Happy Birthday Son

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Steven my only son is 36 today.

He lives in Chester and I haven’t seen him for a couple of years: yet another casualty when dementia is the elephant in the room.

A day trip on the train beckons.

Why is organising even a day’s Respite so difficult for any Care Partner?

 

Dementia: Seeking Immediate Respite

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I now realise that the only way I’m going to ger some quality sleep is to be in a separate place to Maureen for a while.  It is now approaching 5.30 am and she has been up for an hour following on from  incidents earlier this morning.  Sleep interruption is becoming the norm  and I have almost forgotten what it is like to enjoy quality rest.

When I speak to our social worker later on I will be requesting immediate respite.  I  need some rest if I am to have the energy to be Maureen’s  Care Partner: sleep deprivation is torture for anyone.

Dementia: Just Another Day

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Yesterday I reaped the benefit  of a Team of people who provide support to us:

Kelly from Dementia Engagement:   For clarifying progress of the Gardening Initiative.

Sue from the Home Treatment Team:  For helpful advice and support.

Claire from Lindsey Hall Nursing Home: For confirming assessment visit today

Staff at Local Lloyd’s Pharmacy: For providing advice and TLC.

Gary our Social Worker: For advice and arranging to meet this afternoon.

Dianne (sister-in-law): For confirming visit today and willingness to stay with Maureen while I meet Gary.

 Cleethorpes Leisure Centre:  For good company in refreshing surroundings.

Neighbours: For keeping Maureen safe while she was on walkabout when I was out..

Specsavers Cleethorpes: For providing advice over Maureen’s optical issues.

Lisa (daughter): For telephone support.

Blog Followers: For helpful suggestions and support.

Charlotte:  For a supportive Carer Sit

Various Care Agencies: For clear information and advice

I realise that we are very fortunate with the level of support we receive here in Cleethorpes.  There is little doubt I wouldn’t cope without the Team of people who are always at the end of a telephone..

Maureen’s opening gambit today is: ‘she doesn’t want to go; has nothing to wear and doesn’t know what she is going to do to’ – just Another Day in my life as her Care Partner.

 

 

Dementia: We’re Not Moving Yet

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It is going to be early October before we are able to move into our new abode.  I called in at Lindsey Hall Nursing Home today and accepted that it would not be practical for us to move in on Friday.

I’m pleased that we will now have a little more time to put our affairs on order before we embark on the next stage of our journey.  I feel somewhat relieved that we will have a little more time to ensure a smooth transition to living in a Nursing Home.

Maureen is extremely tired at the moment and her spirits are low.  Once again I need to provide lots of TLC and support her to find purpose in her life.

 

The long and winding path(way)…

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You can always depend upon George for saying it as it is.

georgerook51's avatargeorge rook

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It’s not all bad!

In fact, this week has been inspiring.

At our Shropshire Telford and Wrekin Dementia Action Alliance meeting members told us what they’d been up to. The list is impressive.

Telford schools have been emailed with an offer of dementia friends awareness sessions for PHSE.

Dementia roadshow held at PRH hospital.

Telford taxi licensing dept has been approached about including dementia friends sessions in driver training.

Over 500 people have attended church services which included dementia friends awareness, and 124 people have completed the church based 4 session dementia training course.

The Lichfield Diocese dementia worker is promoting use/creation of boxes.

T&W Senior Citizens Forum is delivering musical memories sessions.

Almost all fire and rescue staff have now done DF awareness, full time and retained.

Fire and Rescue provide home fire safety visits with support from the Memory Service re PWDs.

Shrewsbury Job Centre…

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